I will readily admit that I am not a Buddha. I am not Enlightened. I have not immersed myself in sutra and koan. As far as I know, I have not conquered rebirth and reincarnation. So why learn meditation from me? My answer is, you should not.
In 2000 I achieved something using meditation that has, to my knowledge, never been written about before. I birthed a star. A very, very, very tiny star.
Before I did that, I practiced meditation seriously, sincerely, and severely. My practice is called “inner dissolving” and I have taken this practice further than anyone, including the teacher that taught it to me.
For four years I practiced meditation all the time, and very gradually my concentration became massive while my body, mind and heart became quiet.
At a certain point in Year Four, I realized that I loved being alive, and that I loved Life itself. That is substantial progress when you consider that I had suffered from depression so bad that I had made a half dozen suicide attempts.
All that suffering was gone. I had done the impossible. I cured myself of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Manic Depression. Those conditions had nothing to do with me. It was as if I had never had those sufferings to begin with.
At the end of Year Five, closing in on 2001, I went one step further. I went into a self-imposed retreat that lasted about two weeks. During this meditation I compressed my awareness so deeply, that my inner world became a microcosm of the macrocosm. I experienced my inner space as vast darkness punctuated by bodies of light.
Towards the end of my retreat, over the course of three days, I concentrated my awareness even more, and swept my body down from head to heart to pelvis. Then again, upwards, from pelvis, to heart, to head. Finally, I split my concentrated awareness and swept my body simultaneously from my head – down, and from pelvis – up.
Both waves met in my heart center, joined, and compressed hugely and then it happened: star ignition. A massive light pulsed simultaneously inward, and outward, and my spirit coalesced into a micro-chakra, a mini dantien. a micro energy gate in the center of my heart.
In that moment, pure love of Self radiated from the center of my being. I loved myself completely.
This is not kensho or satori or Buddhahood. It is something else entirely. The closest reference point for this process, comes from astronomy. The birth and death of stars.
Stars are formed from immense compression of gas molecules, until fusion occurs, and a stellar body of fire and light is born and last from millions, to billions of years. Black holes are formed differently, but through a similar process. When a massive star exhausts most of its fuel, it collapses. If the star’s core is big enough, the compression of this collapse causes energy and matter to cross something called the Schwarzchild Radius, and a black hole is formed.
In both cases, massive compression occurs, and something new is born. If it is stellar gas, a star is born. If it is a star-core, a black hole is born. Both bodies, stars and blackholes, have enormous gravity, and give off huge energy.
If you are looking for Buddhahood, or Zen, I am not the teacher for you. But I can teach you hypercompression. It would be up to you to explore your inner space as you grow your concentration power, and birth your own chakra-star of light in your heart.