Test yourself

Lock yourself into your bedroom or a bathroom and turn off all the lights. Turn off your cell phone. Look at your self in the mirror. Try not to think of anything. If you think anything at all. Ask, why? Why did I have that? Something underneath my normal state of mind offered up a thought, and I thought it.

Imagine never having a single distressing thought in your mind. Day after day after day. That is what can happen, if you get to a place where, when you sit in the dark all by yourself with nothing to do or to read or listen to, you can be peaceful inside your mind and body. Be completely comfortable doing or thinking and even feeling on an emotional level, nothing at all.

Now you live in a state where your physical body is un-stressing. Your mind is un-stressing. Your emotions are settling. All emotions. What is left is a kind of intermix of listening-feeling-attention, and sensations. Kind of like being a blind octopus in the abyssal depths. Occasionally a small light will flash in your mind. Like a tiny bioluminescent life form. Other than that, there is nothing going on inside you at all. Save for maybe a sense of interest. Or hunger.

How do you navigate a black world you can feel, hear, kind-of, but definitely not, see?

You reach out into the dark with your feeling-attention-sensory tentacles. You feel outward and all around you by delicately stretching out and feeling, touching, or tapping everything, like a blind woman and a walking stick. You grow a feeling-sensory-perception far beyond your body after awhile. A sense that all of you have, but is a complete mystery to just about everyone. If you take even one psychiatric medication, you are adding to the difficulty level of gaining this inner listening ability, actually.

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About Jane

Ms. Alexander. author, activist, artist
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